Moe! Staiano’s statistics for Sleepytime Gorilla Museum:

Years as member of SGM: 1999-2004

Instrumentation: Pressure caps, sheet metal, oil barrel, EDM metal pieces, spring, bass drum, spring/nail guitar (made by Moe!, mid-1990’s), spring, various stuff, popping turtle (now residing in Brooklyn, NY), et al.

Choice of stage costume: Cut-up shorts with suspenders.

Important duty while being a member: Driving the bus while everyone else sleeps.

Fun moments on stage: Lighting off a string of firecrackers (Kentucky) (ow…that’s loud), hanging upside down on rafters (various venues), stage-diving into the audience (SF), running around with a gong into the audience (NEARFEST, NJ), drumming on beer kegs around the room (various venues).

Embarrassing moments on stage: Trying, and failing to tell a joke at Nils’ request (he’s not a great joke teller -ED.) (Seattle), missing to hit the aluminum state at the end of Baby Doctor (various cities), missing to hit the aluminum state at the end of Baby Doctor in front of 2000 people and have a big-ass spotlight shining on me at that very moment (NEARFEST, NJ).

Fun moments on tour: Seeing other bands, making new friends and seeing old friends, having my picture taken of me in front of the White House (DC) with my pants down, playing shows with the Ex, Melt Banana, Wire, Thrones, Barnacled, Degenerate Art Ensemble, Nels Cline and Cheer-Accident, actually singing a Cheer-Accident song in front of an audience (SF & Chicago), going to places I thought I’d never go to in my life.

Bus pet-peeves: Dish rattlings, various high-pitched squeaks, unable to fall asleep, not having a place to piss (no, I won’t pee in a bottle), being in the presence of the other members clipping their nails, trying to sleep while someone else is snoring.

Worst tour moments: Various bus problems, getting sick, OD’ing on caffeine pills and other events which we won’t go into.

Mission I never accomplished while on tour: Failing to get a Dunkin’ Donuts apron from a Dunkin’ Donuts store though I managed to get a pin instead.

Best things about playing in SGM: Playing with some of the greatest and nicest, creative musicians I have ever been blessed with.